The most memorable doctor’s appointment I ever had was about 10 years ago, at my first annual check-up.

I had been out-of-sorts; it felt like being a puzzle where the bits were drifting slowly away from each other.

I didn’t say this to the doctor, because - well, I didn’t know how to. Puzzle? Drifting bits? And it was a weird thing to bring up, since it was so generalized. But there was this one specific symptom I needed to tell him about.

“I have this tightening in my chest,” I said. “Like a fist right in the center, that’s pulling everything in hard.”

He looked at me from across the table, and smiled after a pause.

“Don’t worry, dear,” he said. “You’re probably just anxious. It’s probably just in your head.”

Umm. Excuse me what?

I just sat there, blinking in astonishment. Can he say that out loud?

I mumbled a weak, “ok” - all I could manage at the time, and got the hell out of there, without saying anything more.

I was furious, yes. But ashamed also, somehow - like why was I making a big deal about this, maybe I was just anxious? And then furious again. I know what I felt, and it was real. I left feeling worse than I came in.

But I’m preaching to the converted here, aren’t I?

I have talked to so many women who have a story about being dismissed, had their symptoms minimized or just not believed during a doctor’s appointment, and these conversations, as well as that memorable doctor’s visit, is the trigger for this week's episode, the first in a new series on Overlooked.

It’s called How to Talk So Your Doctor Listens, and it’s an intentionally provocative title.

In this series, you’ll hear from doctors who listen, and who are thoughtful about engaging with their patients, starting with Dr Gillian Goddard, an endocrinologist and author of ‘The Hormone Loop: An Empowering Guide to Restoring Hormonal Harmony, from Puberty to Menopause.' Gillian also writes a great newsletter: The Savvy Patient.​

It’s a candid conversation, and we talk about:

• How to set a goal for your appointment: if you only have 10 minutes with your doctor, you need a plan. How can you optimize that time and come out with the support and solutions you deserve?
• Cross talk: we're using the same words but defining them differently. Example: perimenopause.
• How to gently push back when you don’t understand or don’t agree with what your doctor just said. I asked this question because I don’t do gentle pushback, I just charge in, or - as with that awful doctor’s appointment, I don’t say anything at all. So what’s a good middle ground? Gillian recommends an excellent and practical approach to this.
• How to tell your doctor that you’ve been googling these symptoms, and the AI search gave you some solid advice, and paired with your deep research on Instagram - well, you think you might have your own treatment plan sorted 😃. For real though.

What is the worst doctor’s appointment you’ve ever had? What is the best doctor’s visit you’ve ever had? Who is the doctor or health provider you want to give a shout out to for being amazing? Email hello@overlookedpod.com, or just reply to this email, and send me your story or voice memo.

The next episode is How To Talk so Your Doctor Listens: ER edition, so make sure you’ve hit the follow button on the podcast, wherever you listen - Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or elsewhere.

And by the way, that chest pain is no more - perimenopause shredded my cardiovascular health, and I had really high cholesterol for a while. My new doctor put me on statins, and a few years ago I started taking estrogen, which has kept my heart health in better shape. Onwards and upwards.

Related Episodes:

Dr Gillian Goddard has been on Overlooked before, in an episode called Not Your Mother’s Menopause, in which we talked about how GenXers are dealing with this stage of life. ​

In an early season, I also talked to Dr Brandi Sinkfield about where we get our health information from, and she too had solid advice for having a good doctor’s visit. ​

What else is going on:

I know that October is Menopause Awareness Month, but I’m not doing a specific menopause story on the show because - is menopause still overlooked right now? You tell me. In case you want a treasure trove of meno episodes and resources though, check out this post.​

September is done, you guys. It's been a hard month, I'll be honest. I've been seeking out a bit of peace and quiet these days, so here's a pic from a trail walk.

Wishing you the best of health,

Golda